dog humor

Baaa Baaa Baaad

The Laundry Room. It’s the place where my food dish gets filled up two times a day.  But they keep me waiting a little too long once in awhile, and so the tossing and banging of the dish on the floor will get their attention.

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It’s where my water dish gets refreshed several times a day.  But some days it can’t come quick enough for me.  All that running around in the hot weather makes a pup thirsty don’t you know. Good thing I can help myself to some fresh water before the other dogs slurp and slop it all up.

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The laundry room, yep, it has many different sounds going on in there, too. Sometimes I enjoy laying on the floor listening to these gentle rumbles coming from the big white machines. Sometimes I try to dig at the stuff I see rolling and spinning around inside them.  I haven’t been caught, but I have left my mark behind. A few scratches here and there, sorry. That scratch on the wall, a little paint could fix that right up!

Then it happened.  While I was casually walking past the room, something caught my eye as it leaped, literally, out of the big white machine.  What luck I thought to myself.  I tracked it down and grabbed it. It was soft and chewy and round and awesome!  But it was also short lived happiness, I was cornered in the laundry room now with nowhere to go.

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It was a dryer sheep ball, and I really, really wanted to keep it!  I did put up a fight. Well, not so much a fight as it was more of a clenched jaw. Serious clenching, but I was wrong and finally gave it up.

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Sorry little sheep ball of wool!!

 

SMILING DOG CONTEST

“The Bark”, the magazine, is asking all owners of happy, smiling dogs and puppies to submit their favorite pictures to be included in the next several issues.

Here is my picture with best buddy, Diesel the Rottweiler,  which we are submitting.  We just came in from outside playing keep away, tug of war, catch me if you can, and well, I won every one if you must know!

Diesel and Drax

We are so excited to enter the contest!  So many happy dog pictures have been displayed in the magazine, and always a great bunch of articles, I’m told, since I don’t read myself! So get out your cameras,  your cell phone, your goPro, whatever you use to capture the unmistakable HAPPY PICTURES of your Pup and send it in!

Smile Contest

Here is a picture of their subscription card, if anyone is interested.  ( I have not been paid nor have I been compensated for the plug of this magazine.) It’s a magazine about dogs, dogs and more dogs!  What more do you need to know?  DOGS!!  All breeds, all the time!

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Well, I’m getting ready for another round of Keep Away in the yard with Diesel. Maybe I should give him a chance to win once in awhile.  Maybe, I’ll think on it!

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Keep Smiling, My Friends!

 

 

 

 

 

A Public Service Announcement

What is going on I asked?  Why am I experiencing baldness at such a young age as 2 years old?  It was quite the shock to suddenly have my hair falling out as you can imagine.   I’m a handsome dog, but this loss of hair is making me uncomfortable!

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So off I go to the doggy doctor to be checked out.  Could it be allergies? Could it be premature aging? No, that would be silly! Could I be sick? Dr. Prieto examines me, thinks maybe I need more vitamins or something,  and home we go with bottle of oil type pills and a gentle shampoo. Hoping for this to be the end of it and hoping my awesome coat grows back.

Nope, nothing changes after a few weeks, and it looks like it’s getting worse. Back to the doctor we go.  She does some blood work, maybe it’s  a thyroid issue she says, whatever that means.  I’ll just lay around sulking, waiting for answers, looking silly and balding! No, I’m not too vain!

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Nope, nothing shows up in the blood work. That’s good, I’m otherwise healthy! And it’s back to the doctor we go, and by the way, do I have insurance for this??  She does a skin scraping, nothing there, no bugs of any kind. Good! She then takes a tool and proceeds to punch out some of my skin for a biopsy. “OUCH” she says!!  Yep, she might want to have someone hold me a little tighter if she plans anything like that again. No, I didn’t bite her, just a little warning grab. My eyes, they say “I’m sorry”! I think she knows that! Dr. Prieto is quite the good sport!

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And then the call comes.  Third time’s a charm, finally an answer! She says it’s called “Seasonal Flank Alopecia”, such big words which mean balding on both sides of my body. Yes, we know that, but why? And how do we fix this? She recommends melatonin, twice a day to help. It may be due to the winter months with less sun being out, it could affect the hair growth. Maybe this, maybe that, here’s to hoping I get my wiry coat back on track.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get used to that melatonin, made me a little too sleepy and unable to wake easily in the morning.  So we’ll just sit back and hope it only needs some time in the sun!  Sunning myself is easy enough, I like it outside! Tomorrow is another day, and each day it looks a little better!

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For all of my dog families out there, stuff like this happens sometimes.  Not all dogs get it, and Wirehair Pups like myself aren’t the usual breed affected by this condition. So get your puppies and doggies to the doctor to find out why they may be losing their hair. This has been a Pubic Service Announcement from yours truly, Drax!

Halloween Happenings

The Graveyard, cemetery, home of  beloved family members after passing on, we have one down the road from us!  There have always been stories of  strange goings on in the houses that are on this road. Objects moving in the rooms and sometimes items mysteriously disappearing and all defying any explanation…ghosts, souls, maybe poltergeists? I don’t rule anything out! Even my doggy bed sometimes disappears and reappears late in the day! No explanation ever given.

So I thought maybe it was time to contribute to a holiday, and what better one than Halloween? They’ll never guess what is going on.

What? Food missing from the counter in the kitchen?  Not me!!  Chairs moving around the room? Seriously, it wasn’t me!! Ghosts?

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A bang,  a crash,  a bar stool knocked over!  I didn’t see anyone,  did you?

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Strange knocking on the doors?? We’re innocent I tell you!  Maybe Poltergeists?

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After all, it’s that time of  year for lots of spooky and eerie happenings!!  So why are we pups being blamed for all this paranormal activity??

OOPS!!  Caught in the act!! That’s some serious night vision camera you got there!!

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I’m looking forward to Halloween, and maybe a costume is in my future? I’m not sure but I certainly hope so!  I hear that’s the only way to move among the ghosts on Halloween night and score some candy and doggy treats!

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Happy Trick or Treating! Be safe out there!

What to Expect, When You’re Expecting!

So my title is the clue, and the story goes a little something like this!

“What on earth are we going to do about Drax and Diesel?” I heard her say. “We will need another gate or two for the kitchen.”, was another conversation I overheard. But I don’t see anything wrong with the old way of blocking the breakfast room, do you?

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Then these past few weeks I’ve noticed everyone working around the house, clearing out furniture, bringing in some new furniture, new kitchen gates going up, and I STILL don’t know what’s going on.  Next thing I know, they have Diesel bunking with me in the laundry room!  No, he is NOT thrilled about that, but I heard someone say,”They will have to learn to get along. They may be to much around her, she could get knocked down”. What? Where would they ever get that idea?  And suddenly I realized what was going on,  we’re expecting a new family member!

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Then I hear the word, “GRANDMA”.  I’m getting a GRANDMA??  Awesome!! So I hear she likes puppies and she’s coming to live with us!!  Grandma kisses are the best,  so I  hear!

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So that’s what we’re expecting, that’s WHO we are expecting!  I am looking forward to having a Grandma, and I hope she is looking forward to having  some new buddies to keep her company during the day. Of course, I still have some issues with these new gates in the house! Maybe she’ll forget to close them,  maybe she won’t mind me following her around,  maybe I can be her best friend!  Just maybe! I can dream,  can’t I?

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Eating Healthy

I have never, ever done this before.

There is always something sweet smelling coming from a basket on the counter.  A basket I hadn’t given much thought to, until today that is. It must have some interesting treats for me to check out! So being a very quiet, ninja-like puppy, I carefully grabbed the bag out of the basket.  To me the bag alone was a great find, it made all sorts of crinkling sounds but then, without warning, round squishy things fell out of it!

What fun, a toy and a treat inside!!  I was able to eat two of the sweet treats before being caught!  I don’t know why they check on me so often, maybe to make sure I have water in my dish, but I could use a little privacy that lasts longer.  I suppose eating two squishy balls she called nectarines was better than none!

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Yep, banished to the laundry room, surprise, surprise!

But they love me and want to trust me so badly, so again I was allowed back into the kitchen to play  and sleep.

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I could end the story here, but no, there was more in that basket, I could smell it!!   Yep, I grabbed whatever I could and out the back door I went.

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Bananas, that’s what they were! I must try harder to  perfect my “sneaking out the back door” trick, but that door is a little too loud. I hope they refill that basket real soon, I think I figured out how to tip-toe..

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You’d think they would want me to eat healthy, right?

 

 

Trust

 

Well, well, well. They apparently have started to let their guard down. Silly people! TRUST they call it.   I have after all been on my “best behavior”. However, that is up to interpretation depending on who you talk to!!  TRUST, I’m liking that word!  It’s like an all Access Pass! Silly people!

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I  tell you this because I  recently found a bag of bagels left out on the counter. TRUST. Nope, never expected that, and yes, all four of them were delicious!  Yep, I said four, no sharing here! They jokingly asked me why I didn’t wait for the Lox, not sure what they meant?

I can also tell you this is true because of the package of chicken cutlets I found on the counter.   Again, it must be TRUST. Somebody walked out of the room for just a little too long!  I took them into the backyard, but I just couldn’t get them open fast enough, the wrapper was on way too tight!!  Sadly, no chicken dinner for me!

Which brings me to today.  Everything was quiet, so I ventured into the kitchen sink. I’m thinking maybe I would find food left on a plate or something.  Nope, no leftovers, but I did find a plastic container in the sink.  It was clean but I still grabbed it and ran.

I apparently alerted someone with all that clanking sound.   Not to mention that small clue I left behind, so they knew that’s where the noise came from!

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 What fun I was having, tossing that plastic container around in the yard. Diesel wanted to get in on it but alas it was taken away shortly after they found us outside. Something about foam not being good for my digestive system and other stuff like that, but I didn’t understand or care!

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I guess I’ll be seeing a lot more of that laundry room again….It’s really not that bad, kinda cozy, always food and water available.  Here’s to TRUST, and trying to get it back!! 

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Que the Beach Boys, “In my Room”

There’s a world where
I can go and
Tell my secrets to
In my room
In my room

Do my dreaming and my scheming
Lie awake and pray
Do my crying and my sighing
Laugh at yesterday

In my Room….

 

 

Listerine

 

I know, that is a strange title for a doggy blog, but let me start from the beginning. You’ll understand shortly.

It started like any other day, except that they didn’t give me anything to eat that morning! WHAT?  How dare they, I literally woke up starving.  Then came the car ride, except I didn’t seem to be taking the usual route I grew accustomed to heading to the K-R Ranch. WHAT? How dare they get me into the car and  head in the wrong direction!  I was totally confused by all this, and on top of it all, they had put me in a crate!

Now I have been a member of my adopted family for one year this past February and I’ve been loving them and all the attention I get.   But occasionally during the past 6 months of my life I’ve heard whispers in the house such as “No, he’s still too young for the surgery” and “We should wait a little while longer”.  What are they talking about, I asked Diesel.  He denied knowing anything.

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And I didn’t learn what all those conversations were about…..until now!!

My manhood, my awesome physique was taken away from me. That’s right, I was neutered!  There were a couple of kitties at the hospital, I think they had the same surgery. Sorry for your loss…..

So it’s official, I’ve been taken off the list of up and coming STUD dogs you want to meet and breed!!   I don’t remember agreeing to this invasion into my personal life!

When we got home from the doggy and kitty hospital, I was greeted with some strange cone of plastic. Seriously do you really think I’ll let you near me with that thing?? Around my head??  I think not!!

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I was itchy, I was sore and all I wanted to do was check myself out and cool down the soreness maybe with a lick or two.  But NO, that was discouraged vigorously with constant interruptions!!   So then a call was made to Dr. Prieto and the next thing I know a cool, but smelly substance called Listerine was placed around my stitches. Emphasis on “AROUND” the stitches. That my friends, was something I did not want to smell.  The next thing I overheard was some laughing and someone saying “Problem solved”.  Yep, you win, problem solved.

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So if you’re looking for a sure fire method of keeping the pups from messing with their stitches,  Listerine does work.  Again, emphasizing “AROUND” the incision or stitches.  I’m glad there were no slip ups!

 

A Little Boy Named Kevin

There is this cute little boy named Kevin.  He’s their nephew’s son and he comes every Tuesday to be with his Aunt Sue.  You know her, she is my mom/guardian/caretaker.   He absolutely LOVES Gunnar and spends time sitting and watching TV with him, they hang out on the front porch  and he plays fetch with him.

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What you won’t see is Kevin sitting with me, or playing fetch with me or hanging out in the backyard with me.  Ever since I was little, Kevin has been afraid to pet me and with good reason I guess.  My baby teeth did hurt when I used them on my peoples hands and feet.

When he visits he would say hi to me,  wave to me and sometimes even throw my toys  back over the gate for me. Once he even was brave enough to pet me while  I was sleeping, so I hear.

 

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But now that I am bigger, (much, much bigger) I don’t see us playing together anytime soon.  He is only four years old and not ready for all the kisses I would give him.

I did manage to get out of the laundry room when he was in the kitchen sitting at the high table.    Before I was caught, I ran over to him and I jumped up to say hi.   Which needless to say, did not go over very  well.  All that screaming and crying, I think I was more scared of him at that point.

I guess Gunnar will be his friend for now, but one day I hope to win him over!

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Drax Defines TOY

May I ask,  what is the definition of a toy? And who decides??

Toy  (noun)  : 1. An object for a child to play with  2. Something that serves for or as if for diversion, rather than for serious practical use.

There have been many, many toys I’v enjoyed since I was little.  Each have been different in their own way.  Some super chewy, some hard plastic  to gnaw on, and some made squeaky noises!!    I was always  sure to test  and chew and check each and every one out!!  Some I shared with Diesel when bored, but he  doesn’t always want to share back…so I just keep after him.

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I have been “tossed” spoons, and just loved the sound and  playing with them.   Maybe that wasn’t  their intention,   but it was fun!

So my definition of a toy is many:

There’s that moth that got in the house, “toy”.  There’s the empty food dish, “toy”.  Of course, the empty box you forgot to take out to the garbage, “toy”. Those sweatpants you wear, “toy”.   The shiny knob on the washing machine, yes, I consider that a “toy”.  The sticks and stones I dig up,  “toy”.

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One of my favorites though, is my dish mat.   I guess, sort of a “toy”??

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So when in doubt,  just throw it on the floor and see if I give it my “teeth” of approval.   You never know what will keep me busy.  Remember, “TOY ; An object for a child to play with” .  In my world, anything and everything can be a Toy !!